08.02.08
Olympic Fallout
As the 2008 Olympic games draw near, you can bet the self-righteous will unite with the jackass in a China bashing frenzy. So if you’re of Chinese descent and are tired of being the proverbial “catcher” of insults, read on for some pointers that may make it easier for you to address these unpleasant situations.
First let’s go over a few general concepts.
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO ADDRESS ANYONE IN A CIVILIZED MANNER, REGARDLESS OF POSITION
When it comes to the office environment, being a minority in a racial discussion puts you in the driver’s seat.
This is true even if the offenders are other minorities as no institution wants the label of being a racially unfriendly environment.
If this is a superior, there is probably someone above him or her that uncomfortable remarks can be reported to. Human Resources (HR) is an option as is an attorney, provided you’ve documented the incident(s) (names, quotes, witnesses, and preferably a voice recording).
Feel free to correct friends as well, you should not be uncomfortable making the correction, they should be uncomfortable having made the statement(s).
ALWAYS BE PREPARED TO RESPOND
No situation is off limits. The self-righteous may take a trivial reference of China (e.g. a few people going out for Chinese food) in order to chime in with their holier-than-thou opinions of backward, oppressive, and uncivilized people.
The jackass may initially establish a cameraderie with you and others in order to get you to let your guard down and then, sahh … he slips in a zinger.
Respond no matter who the onlookers are. Arguably these people aren’t your friends anyway but inarguably they will respect you more if you stand up for yourself than if you take it.
IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU SAY AS LONG AS YOU SAY SOMETHING
Standing up for yourself may feel uncomfortable since youv’e been conditioned not to.
You may also not have the perfect response for a remark, that’s ok, you don’t have to “win”, you only have to try. Even simple responses such as:
- Loudly clearing your throat,
- Opening your mouth in “he didn’t say what I think he just said” astonishment,
- Surprisingly asking “Huhh?”,
- Repeating the offending statement,
- Asking the offender to “Elaborate further please”,
- Simply asking “Excuse me?” in eyebrow-raising fashion.
Can yield surprisingly effective results.
Don’t think about whether to react, just react. It is better to overreact than to under react. Don’t beat yourself up if you miss the opportunity. Rest assured there’ll be more opportunities.
CLEARLY MAINTAIN A SIMPLE POSITION
You are right and should not have to quietly accept others degrading your heritage.
Avoid “softeners” such as “kind of”, “sort of”, etc.
Don’t explain yourself (”I’m not going to explain myself to you”)
Don’t get into a debate (”I’m, not interested in getting into a debate with you”)
Don’t expect other Asians or even other Chinese to support you. In fact they may take the opposite side in order to assimilate (”Speak for yourself …”)
You are making a simple request not to have your heritage degraded.
NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES THEY “PULL THE LEVER”, DON’T GIVE THEM A “PIECE OF CANDY”
While it’s natural to be upset that the same verbal unpleasantries aren’t hurled at other ethnicities, maintain a “3rd grade teacher” persona using an educational tone of voice as you politely provide the miscreant(s) a lesson in cultural sensitivity.
The snide remarks and insults can most often be bucketed into one of the following categories:
- Genetics (eyes, height, penis size),
- Culture (language, food, names),
- Behavior (human rights, freedom, pollution),
- and of course the term “Chinaman”.
GENETICS
“Well nobody’s perfect like you.”
“You think you’re better than Asian people?”
“You must be very impressed with yourself (string of unanswered comments).”
“What’s wrong with being Chinese?”
“You got something against Asians?”
“That sage knowledge is bound to get you laid at a party.”
CULTURE
“Not that I mean to correct you but …”
“Hey that’s my cousin (you’re talking about).”
“Should I be insulted?”
“All you had to say was … (and appropriately rephrase the miscreants’ remark(s))”
“If you don’t like it, eat somewhere else.”
“Unfortunately not everyone has an easy Anglo name.”
BEHAVIOR (THIS IS THE EASIEST TO DEFEND)
“I’m not even going to point out the irony here.”
“I don’t think you’re in a position to judge anyone.”
“Poor country (can’t afford to provide …)”
“I’m confused, Americans act concerned about the oppression of Chinese people and then kick the shit out of the Chinese people in the US
(reference restaurant delivery beatings/stabbings/shootings).”
“Which country contributes the most pollutants to the environment? Not only does China have more people on bikes and less in cars then the US
but the US can’t even sell most their cars in China because the US made cars don’t meet China’s minimum mileage requirements.”
“Is Gene Simmons the only rock star entitled to wear makeup?”
“CHINAMAN”
“Chinese man. You use an adjective to describe a person, not a noun”
“The gentleman, let’s call him the gentleman.”
“By the way that term isn’t used anymore … “Chinaman”, it’s considered a racial slur.”
A few generic responses:
- “Oh boy i cant wait to hear this.” (a preventative measure)
- “Your conversational skills are what I like best about you.” (Upon initial insult by a repeat offender)
- “So what are you trying to say?”
- “Oh, no offense taken.”
- “I’m not so sure I’m enjoying this conversation.”
- “That’s not nice.” / “That wasn’t necessary”
- “That was low dude.”
- “I don’t know what that means (please explain further).”
- “Got us a comedian here.”
- “I didn’t think that was very funny.”
- “Should I have found that funny?” (when they look at you expecting you to laugh)
- “Take a step back bro.”
- “I don’t appreciate …”
- “Uh, not something I’d expect to hear in the workplace.”
- “I’ll attribute that to youth.” (young person blurting out something offensive)
LET’S WALK THROUGH A SCENARIO
You enter the coffee room in your office to get your morning cup and you run into a few of the boys.
One guy blurts out: “Hey did you hear the Chinese are putting underage kids on their gymnastics team, them Chinese are always trying to get away with something.”
Your response could be: “You know I read about that on Yahoo and just couldn’t help but thinking “Why is something like this on the front page?”. Does anyone even care about these silly sports like gymnastics? Let’s face it, if this were a country like Spain, for example, this “news” would be a couple sentences on the back page.”
The offender argues back: “Yeah but they’re trying to cheat, you gotta be sixteen to compete, that’s the rule.”
You could respond with: “Has it been proven that these gymnasts are under the age limit or just alleged? We all know that the U.S. has ample resources to prove wrongdoing, so what’s the latest?”
The offender reaches: “Man it’s communism, you don’t know what’s going on over there.”
You could conclude with: “China is technically a socialist republic. But to change gears for a second, I seem to remember when the U.S. lost it’s first Olympic basketball game, everybody said (of the winning team): “They act as if they beat our best”. And the American professionals started playing in the years thereafter. So does that mean that if the U.S. celebrates a gold medal in gymnastics that China could also say: “They (the Americans) act as if they beat out best.”?
Other ideas, please share them with the community