05.29.08
Is having an Asian Fetish the same thing as having a “type”?
About a month ago, I was sitting with my girl friends in the library attempting to study. Needless to say, that study session ended up in a girly heart-to-heart chatter. During this time though, I got into a slight argument with all my friends about The Asian Fetish.
I told them that it was my number one turn off in meeting non Asian men. That sometimes I felt that if a guy was hitting on me who wasn’t Asian, then I couldn’t help feeling that he must have an Asian fetish. Their reply was that I was over reacting. None of them were Asian so to them my complaints were me being overly sensitive and hyper aware about my race.
One of my friends even ventured to ask me how even if I was right, isn’t this so called fetish the same thing as having a type? She even used the example of boys having a blond hair, blue eyed, big breasted type (she herself was all of these things), but she concluded as much as it upset her, she just accepted it as being a part of who she was and the way she looked.
I got really defensive. My immediate reaction was outrage. How could a fetish be even remotely compared to a type!? I had never encountered this response to this topic, but all my friends seemed to think that I was being extremely narrow minded as well as hindering my own potential to meeting new people. After the initial shock, I got to thinking. I’ve thought about that conversation for so long, that I now have to ask myself and other Asian women these question: Is an Asian fetish the same thing as having a type? Are we sometimes overly sensitive to this topic? Does our constant awareness of this issue actually limit us as Asian women?
My own responses to these questions are this:
No, an Asian fetish is not the same thing as a type. There is a difference between being fetishized and fantasized. While my beautiful blonde friend can eliminate her stigma by simply dying her hair brown or even wearing less flattering clothing, an Asian girl is sexualized regardless of hair color, body shape, clothing choices, etc. Because we are a different ‘race,’ there is little we can do to eliminate our overtly Asian features.
Yes, we most definitely are too sensitive about this issue. It’s because we talk about it all the time and laugh about it with our other Asian girl friends. So when we see it in the media or see it in action at a party, it only further confirms our staunch belief that this sexualization is prevalent. In this respect, we need to be conscious that maybe we are too aware and too sensitive about our difference in race and too quick in assuming that we are being disrespected and objectified. As a result, we may be limiting our dating range with other races.
Your answers might be different because your experiences are different. Being an Asian girl who is aware of this fetish has definitely shaped how I play the dating game, or who I even let near me just to flirt. Think about these questions because they might reveal how big of a role the fetish plays in your own life. You might be surprised.