05.28.08
How to: Be an attractive Asian male
Fact: Asian women are highly sexualized (a mixed blessing) and generally are very much aware of their powers of attraction
Problem: Asian men are not nearly as sexualized and are often emasculated. This makes dating, which is an already daunting task, even more difficult for Asian men who may become overwhelmed and hindered by this gender discrepancy.
Solution: have confidence! HAVE CONFIDENCE!!! Moreover, I recommend that you should have confidence. Did I mention that having confidence is a great solution to this problem??
What do I mean by confidence? Do I mean cocky and pretentious? NO! Most people are intelligent enough to find cockiness not only obnoxious but also a sign of weakness as well as a major turn off. The confidence that I speak of is a very fine line that will take your own experience to master. You should feel comfortable with the person you are and be willing to take risks. Go ahead and approach that “someone” at the party.
You almost always have nothing to lose because relationships and dating extend far beyond the first encounter, and attention paid to you within the first five minutes may not guarantee success within the ensuing half hour. Thus, you should definitely go on ahead to approach and engage the person you are attracted to.
Why do I personally think that confidence is the key to attraction? For me, as a girl, it signals several things:
Firstly, that you know who you are. You are a strong individual who can hold your own, is willing to take risks, and truly believes in themselves.
Secondly, that because you know who you are, you know what you like. Thus, I conclude that the time spent flirting with me means that I am someone that you know for sure you are attracted to. This attention is almost always more welcome than that of a boy’s whose confidence is wavering and seems to be what my friends call a “percentage man”: a guy so desperate for reciprocation of attention that he hits on and talks to EVERYONE hoping that out of his survey population, a small percentage will acknowledge him back.
Thirdly, when you talk to me, I will see that you are not nervous and you are able to hold your own in conversations, so I will then put you in the same league as me. It is about 100000x easier for a girl to look hot and attractive than it is for a boy. Men are limited in their hairstyles, clothing choices, and there exists only one archetype of the tall and handsome male. For women on the other hand, we can look good either short or tall as well as skinny or curvy. We also have more fashion choices that can flatter our bodies, we can wear different hair styles to frame our faces, and we are allowed make up—basically paint—to hide our blemishes and to make us look glamorous. My point is that just because you are looking at a hot girl does not mean you are looking at something out of your league. My hottest friends never get boys because it seems their great looks intimidate and weed out most insecure men. HAVE CONFIDENCE!
Not everything is as daunting as it seems, and your confidence will pay off not only in playing the dating game but also in work and social settings as well. Be confident! I obviously believe in you enough to have written such a long plea for you to be confident; it’s about time that you should start believing in yourself as well and do so!