12.20.07
A few fun ways to deal with “Where are you from?”
Now William, you should know that tossing out a tasty morsel such as “micro-aggression” is going to get me out of bed to chomp at the bit ; )
So I offer a snippet from the “Communication” chapter of my upcoming book (written from the perspective of a Chinese person, modify nationality as appropriate) which will hopefully get the wheels turning so that others may develop more clever ‘jeu d’esprit’s …
“Where You From?”
You meet somebody for the first time and one of the first things he asks is … “So where are you from?”, probably in front of others.
10. The playful response:
“I’m from an island called Chakalakalaka. It’s in the South Pacific”
9. The surprised response:
“Where am I from? Wow, you just come out guns ‘a blazin’ don’t you?”
8. The coincidental response:
“Ha, I was just about to ask you the same thing, how ironic is that? I’m from China and you? Oh <offender’s country (if they say USA ask “so you’re a Native American?” and keep pressing for their origins>, so tell me, are you intrigued by the mysteries of the Orient?”
7. The questioning response:
“Why is that always the first question I get asked? Do you get asked that? How come my friend Bob Smith never gets asked that?”
6. The professional response:
“China, and where are you from?”
5. The metrosexual response:
“Oh I’m a local (or U.S. city or state or origin), oh do you mean what is my nationality? I’m Chinese, is that ok? And what’s your nationality?”
4. The friendly response:
“China. Hey we’ve all got our flaws right?” Follow up with a playful slap on the shoulder while laughing as if you’ve just made a hilarious joke.
3. The camraderie response:
“Born and raised in the USA baby.”
(when asked about your nationality) “American citizen by birth baby just like you.”
(when pushed to describe your genetic stock) “My ancestors came from China, oh <slight pause> maybe I’m not just like you, <slight reflective pause> aw man, now this is gonna keep me up at night.”
2. The antagonistic response:
“Fresh off the boat from China, yup I’m one of the bad guys. Working for low pay driving down your wages, corrupting your gene pool with our exotic women. Getting good grades and forcing you to spend money on affirmative action programs. Ha ha ha, oh not funny? No good? Aw c’mon lighten up.”
1. The angry response (to a smart ass):
“Your mother’s pussy, bitch.” (the watered down version would be: “why do you want to know (or what does it matter) where I’m from?”
Crystal Clear said,
December 20, 2007 at 5:20 pm
LOLloLOlOLol. ROFL.
This is some great stuff!!!
These comebacks will get these retards knocked out of their sockets.
Brutus said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:41 pm
I think that you have to cut whitey some slack here. We’ve been beat over the head with the identity politics thing for so long that some would ask the question to avoid offending.
Let’s face it, you all look alike…
muthafugga said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:18 pm
What’s wrong with answering the indirect question bluntly? I find Asian-Americans are secretly ashamed of where they originally immigrated from.
死鬼老 said,
December 21, 2007 at 7:12 pm
It’s funny, when I am in China and someone asks me where I’m from, I just say Australia (which is where I was born) and that my wife is from 香港 and that my kids are half ABCs (Australian Born Chinese for the ignorant out there).
Not really a big deal …
Crystal Clear said,
December 22, 2007 at 10:51 am
Theres a time to be direct and straight to the point when describing one’s identity and a time when to come off with something sarcastic. Depends on the context of how the question is asked and why.